Sophie draft WITH INTRODUCTION AND CONCLUSION:

I think I will get rid of the paragraph at the end as this is about implementing so maybe can be moved to Kim's section and also it doesn't tie in very well with the conclusion. But will live it there for now.




19/03/2010 Royce: this is the most up to date version of Reasons and implications for difference - Sophie please update your master copy








Kim: updated on 16/3.




Jean: updated on 16/3

















Part C draft by Kim and Jean-


Sophie, please could you check if there is any grammar mistakes in our draft? (if u a free)

I agree with Royce on the feedback. It doesn't seem very insightful and not really any of our own opinions which is where we can shine in this section. It is very descriptive, and needs more analysis. Let me know if you need any help with thinking of things for this part. Sophie


Royce: I dont think grammer matters at this stage, lets focus on the content first. Below are my feedback:


Explaining difference
At the moment there is only a 'brief description' of difference, but not 'explaination of difference'. Need to explain why there is a difference

Implications of difference to Blackadder
At the moment this part is only comparing ABC and traditional, which is incorrect content. This part needs to explain how the difference will affect Blackadder




Issues to consider before implementation

Contents are about right, but can be more concise, and more spot-on points.

Think about: How Blackadder can benefit from ABC, what will change, and what needs to be changed, customers, products, etc. You need a real brainstorm for this, not everything will be in the journal. Think in Blackadder's point of view, if you are black adder, what will you consider?

Try not to mention too much comparison of ABC and absorption in here, because the comparison section will have everything already. Also you need to paraphrase your sentences, we can't just use same sentence straight from journals.

Sophie Advantages and Disadvantages draft:

Hi guys, sorry I didn't put this on here last night. If you can all read through and give any feedback. Royce, I know you said you think there are too many cites, but I always write in this way so removed a few but kept what I thought was right. If you are really strongly against it we can discuss it!!

Citations don't really matter, no big deal! - Royce

I have just done the disadvantages and advantages - so there is no conclusion attached in this section, but throughout I think I have bought own views across backed up by sources. Your other point was that there was not enough conflicting interests from the theorists to then come up with our own views. Theorists on this tend to agree with each other on points. But hopefully I have begun to address this in the essay.

I'm on the conclusion & recommendations, so of course you dont have to!

Thanks
Sophie